Partly Facetious: The Three First Children

"I don't understand why everyone was so taken aback."
"Well, my point is simple: Pakistan's First Family (PFF) has enough wealth to hire the bestest lawyer and accountant in the whole wide world..."
"Bestest?"
"Hey, when you are that rich surely you can do what you want, create new words, abuse a language, and for the life of me I can't understand why the Three First Children (TFC) admitted ownership of the assets - I mean who advised them to do that? You know in no other country to the best of my knowledge has there been a Panama case hearing in court and..."
"That's because no one raised doubts about their ownership, besides once the leaks were out in the public, institutions began to take action so no need for legal action and..."
"Be careful. You know Dar sahib has, through the taxpayers'-funded Press Information Department, informed the likes of you that he has sent a one billion rupee legal notice to an anchor..."
"See when you are that rich the defamation notices have a very high value ..."
"What do you mean?"
"You know Abdullah defamed me in front of my neighbours and I could just splutter - I mean I don't even have the money to hire a lawyer."
"Are you referring to the old Indian song?"
"I don't get you?"
"You know the song benami shaadi main Abdullah diwana which translates into: in the nameless wedding Abdullah the insane..."
"It's not benami you idiot... it's begani... and the expression refers to Abdullah being so stupid that he enjoys another's wedding as if it was his own...but let me ask you: what if you did have the money for a lawyer...how much is your reputation worth is what I am asking?"
"Lawyers' fees are so varied - now if you reckon I will hire a poor lawyer..."
"The poor lawyers make up with slapping the judge and/or colleagues representing the other side."
"Ha ha ha that's true - I mean I can't imagine Aitzaz Ahsan beating up any lawyer or a judge and..."
"Nah, but politicians sometimes descend on the court premises or court observations..."
"That's right anyway when I said I don't understand why everyone was taken aback I wasn't referring to the TFCs admission...I was referring to Donald Trump firing people - I mean didn't he host a popular TV programme where the key phrase was you are fired."
"I hope Mian sahib becomes a contestant on that programme, he needs to fire a few around him who have given him flawed advice or become approvers or..."
"Back off will you, approvers are..."
"I haven't taken any names."